well hey everyone, sorry i dont update this thing any more, but seriously does any one even read them anymore.?

Well this weekend has been pretty fun, friday me my family joe and chadd went out for dinner to celebrate joe and my dads birthday that was really fun, on saturday i went to the prom and bridal expo at century 2 with my mom and sister, to try nd figure out somet hings for her wedding.. then that night me and chadd went on a date and saw Glory road, that was a really god movie, then we came back to my house and hung out, Today i went out and bought a new purse, and looked around the mall for about an hour, and i drove chadd crazy cuz i made him go with me, and lets just say some guys dont like to shop with girls.. and i dont like shopping with him either, he trys to rush me to much, then we came to my house again and hung out all day, basically this past weekend with no school me and chadd got to hang out alot, which was alot of fun, cuz we hardly ever get to hang out any more cuz of my work schedule..

Lately there has been alot of talking in my house about my surgery, and i just keep finding out more things that in a way make me not want to do it so much anymore, because back surgery is for 1 a really serious thing, one little mess up and i could be screwed for the rest of my life, and the fact that for prom i have to be in a turtle shell brace that really sucks!Then today i found out that the medicine they will use to put me to sleep that day b 4 the surgery, it paralyses (sp) my entire body to where i wont even breathe on  my own, i will have a tub down my throat and into my lungs during the surgery to breathe for me. i dont like that, i dnt care if it will make me breathe, that just freaks me out to know that for like3 hours i wont be able to breathe on my own during the surgery. and ill have to give blood b 4 my surgery that way if during the surgery i loose to much blood they can just use mine to give bak to me. and i am just really thinking about it alot lately and it is going to hurt really bad, and i also found out that after like during my recovery i will only be able to sit in the upright position for 5 - 15 minutes at a time, so answer me this, how in the hell and i going to get through 4 sets of hour and a half classes PLUS lunch, when i can only sit for 5 - 15 minutes.. how in the hell is this going to work out.... I dont kow i am just starting to get really worrid and scared ya know..

well im really tired and i think i have blabbed enough so i am just gonna go ahead and get off of here now...

     Love always

          Amanda**

Well let me just say this, WOW, it has definatly been a LONG time since i updated this thing.. Oh well what can i say i am a busy person..

   Well i made the bowling team again which is good, so did chadd...So thats really cool, now we definatly get to see each other all the time now.
   Work is going good, was totally bringing in the money and now since xmas is over everyones hours got cut MAJOR!!! so that really sucks, but oh well what can ya do
   My break has been alright, not the funnest considering all i have done is work, but at least i got to see chadd part of the time..
   My christmas was GREAT!! i went over to chadds aunts on xmas eve and opened present over there with his family and let me tell you i was just in complete SHOCK i was speech less and breatheless.. he got me the pink saphire necklace that matches the ring my parents got me for my birthday..its SO PRETTY i havent taken it off yet!!!
   Oh yeah, i found out that i am going to be having surgery in march, so that is a major downer, but the upside to it is YOU ALL BETTER COME VISIT ME IN THE HOSPITAL AND BRING ME PRESENTS... Lol. just kiding about the presents part but you still all better come see me, at least i hope you all do..
   Today me and Chadd have been together for 1 year.. thats so exciting, im really happy, i love him so much..  
  Tomorrow is new years eve, and i know i am going to have a fun night, and i hope you all do to, and YOU BETTER ALL BE SAFE about whatever it is you choose to do..well im gonna go and watch a movie with chadd, so i will let you all go,

  <Late> MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

 <Early> HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

           Love,

                Amanda**

WOW! it has been a long time since i updated this thing, Hmm, lets just see here.

Well things are going really good actually, Things at home are Pretty Good, relationship is Great, work is Awesome, school is doing alright, Im really worried though, like ALL of my grades are good except my algebra 2 grade, i just cant get it up, and i serisouly dont know what to do, i cant drop it because i cant get into the college i want without it, but i also dont want an F on my transcript, i keep trying and i just dont get any of it.

So besides the algebra grade, everything concerning school is good, Tryouts are Monday, im excited,

My doctors appointment for them to read my MRI is in 9 days tomorrow, and thats good news, so hopefully they can give me something to get rid of my pain, because its not just there seldomly, its there ALL THE TIME, and its to the point now that it actually hurts me to walk, and for me to be 17 that really scares me.

I honestly dont know what to write anymore, so i think ill just leave it like it is..

        <3 you all

               Amanda*

HAPPY LATE THANKSIGVING!!

i have been really busy lately with work and school, and managing my family life too...

Well i cant really say that my family things are going well, me and my cousin got in a fight over the holiday, and all i can really say is that it really upsets me, he came to my house for thanksgiving and all but was only here for like 20 minutes, and wouldnt even look at me, so i asked if we could talk and he said no, so then i went to my room and just sat there then he did end up coming in there so we sat and talked for like 5 minutes, and i cant say that it ended in a good way, the whole time he still wouldnt look at me and barely was talking, then he said he just didnt want to tlk n e more so he left, and i mean left completely, i just stayed in my room for awhile, just crying, i really hate this, ! im still really upset over it. and i dont know what i can do,

Thats all that i have on my mind, just the relationship between me and my cousin that no matter how much i try to block it out, but all i can see is that it has faded so much that there is really nothing more. I love him so much, and all i want is for me and him to be so close again, i would give n e thing to have it back, but there is nothing for me to do.. unfortunatly that is up to him,.. and unfortunatly its not what he wants.. so i dont know what to say.. I LOVE YOU ALEX! and IM SORRY FOR EVERYTHING< i hope you read this!!!

      Amanda**

Well school was good today, a little annoying but it worked out ok by the end of the day,

After school Chadd came over to help me rearrange my room to get my bed AWAY from the window, cuz that wall is SO COLD since its right by the outside, so yeah, he came over to help me move it, that ws i didnt put to much pressure on my back.. AW how sweet..

Then we went to Taco Shop cuz he wanted to eat all you can eat taco's so i went with him to hang out and talk too, it was fun, Levi and Taylor were there too, it was fun though. Then i took him home, then i came home, ate dinner, just finished gettin my work clothes ready, cuz i got to work tomorrow till 11pm. thats pretty late, but its all good, im gonna try to get some medicine from my dad that way i wont be in so much pain,

But hey yall i think im gonna go ahead and get off here, im hella tired and have a really long day tomorrow, so im gonna go ahead and go, get everyhting ready for school tomorrow, then prolly just lay down watch some tv, then eventually fall asleep.. so goodnight everyone!

          <3 Amanda